DIY On How To Declutter Your Life Space

Moving into my new one-bedroom apartment was a sigh of relief. “Out with the old, in with the new” was my motto. This move wasn’t just about surface cleaning, redecorating, and changing location. I was ready to declutter my mind by clearing and reorganizing my surroundings, dusting away the people that were no longer healthy for me, donating my time and efforts to myself, and relocating to create a safe space for my well-being.

I found out early in life that you can’t physically move away from mental and emotional issues. Material wealth can be used as a pleasant façade to numb internal pain and hurt. Sometimes we feel like there is no antidote to counteract the harmful toxins that our body encounters. How can you enjoy life when deep down, you can’t even find joy within yourself? I was on a mission to find the cure.

Being so used to toxicity made it hard for me to maneuver through all of the rubbish. I figured a good place to start would be with my interpersonal relationships. Asking myself, “Are the people that I surround myself with benefiting me?” “Do these relationships align with my values?” “Do we share similar interests and goals?” I was surprised when I realized how negative and co-dependent the majority of my relationships had become.

I found myself neglecting my personal needs to be a people-pleaser to others and wondered why I always felt so isolated, invisible, unsuccessful, and insecure. Instead of believing in my own abilities and creativity, my validation came from my biggest haters that I considered best friends and family. My self-doubt stemmed from the lack of belief and negative projections the people I depended on had towards me.

I don’t know if you are familiar with the HBO show Insecure, but this show helps me form an example of why seeking validation from anyone can be detrimental.

In Season 4, Issa decides to quit her job to focus on her passion for organizing a neighborhood block party. While Issa is preparing for the block party, Molly (her best friend) did not genuinely support her. Issa received assistance and support from every other friend, investors, even strangers but not the person she considered closest to her. Molly didn’t even want to go to the event but figures she should be supportive by showing up.

Though Issa dealt with many obstacles, the event ends up being a hit. While everyone is celebrating and showing her love, Molly stirs up an argument with Issa over an issue that could have waited until a better moment. Now Issa loses the chance to soak up what she just achieved. Imagine if she would have listened to the criticism. She could have given up on her dreams because of the lack of faith someone she seeks advice from had in her throwing a successful block party.

It shows that the people closest to you don’t always have your best interest at heart. If you continuously listen to the opinions of others, you could lose out on opportunities and start to minimize your potential. Family and long-term friends that aren’t supportive tend to equate our current pursuits to happiness with decisions we used to make in the past. At times, they can’t see our growth making them our biggest skeptic.

I decided that if you weren’t supportive of my new path, it was time for me to cut my attachment cord with you. To my astonishment, most of the people I associated with didn’t genuinely care about me or even bothered to support me. I was too deep into empathy overload to see how people loved stealing my energy and just too kind-hearted that I gave love more than I received love. I set my boundaries, forgave them and myself, then took my broom and swept the toxicity right out of my life.

Removing that low vibrational clutter from my surroundings gave me more time to focus on self-love. Sitting in loneliness is tough. Instead of shooting Novocain into my heart, I decided to relearn myself again. Going deep within, I asked my inner child, “What creative endeavors do you miss?” “What types of new relationships would you like to attract into your life?” “What happened that triggers your insecurities?” It became a time to strive towards personal fulfillment.

Of course, I needed to heal a long list of wounds. My heartstrings needed unraveling, and the spontaneous kid in me craved creativity and adventure. I was around sadness, dependency, and negativity for so long; I forgot my goals, interests, and passions. For a long time, I lived in defensive mode. It always felt like I needed to protect myself, my surroundings, my possessions.

My self-love journey helped me realize that I was in charge of empowering my own space, and I decided who was allowed to come into it. I trusted in the process and believed that everything would eventually work out in my favor. No, I am not perfect, nor will I ever be (who came up with the definition of what perfection is anyway?), but I had to find comfort in being my authentic self no matter the circumstances.

There is still a long road ahead, but at least I have a new place to settle down in. I will unpack my vulnerably one exposure at a time. I will furnish my home with positive relationships, new opportunities, creativity, and healthy boundaries. One of the pictures on the wall reads, “Be your own kind of beautiful.” The essence will always be love.

Did I find the remedy? Yes, but the one that works for me! That’s why I am sharing my DIY on what helped me declutter my life space, hoping that you will find a suitable method for you. We all have areas that eventually need a good deep cleaning. Once we clear and organize our space, everything tends to feel clean and tidy!

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