Codependency: I Don’t Need You; I Need Me (Poetry)

Open my heart? I couldn’t. It was broken too many times.

Loving others unconditionally seemed impossible since I would have to forgive them for all of the past crimes.

Searching for love in all of the wrong places is what I used to do.

Hoping one day I would open up the windows to see the view.

Alone.

Even when our bodies were near.

Emotionally unavailable.

My mind refused to see it all clear.

No boundaries. I didn’t want you to leave.

Doing whatever I could to please.

Holding on ever so tightly even though my emotions never were fulfilled.

Giving all of my love away, knowing a healthy relationship would never build.

I depended on your love. I needed it so badly.

Putting my needs to the side, hoping that things would change one day.

Sadly.

The love I had for myself floated away into the darkness the more I sought validation.

Doubting my actions. Taking control over me was all I knew how to accept in every situation.

Burnt out.

Heartbroken.

Numb.

Feeling down in the dumps when it came to dealing with my heartstrings.

Running away from my emotions, jumping over hurdles to get to the next fling.

You gave an inch. I gave a mile as long as our bond was never broken.

I felt responsible for your happiness, knowing each encounter was taking away pieces of my love token.

True love is within me but seeking that truth was hard to find.

Making my own decisions now.

Save room for my love because I’m leaving the past behind and using my own mind.

Now I’m the one ghosting, finding the way back home to my spirit.

Finding the strength within to move forward, no longer fearing the unknown of it.

I’m done chasing. I choose myself, even if it hurts, to let go and move on with my life.

Attracting what I project, so it’s up to me to work on my inner glow.

Eliminating unnecessary strife.

Reopening my heart to what is soothing to my soul.

Only allowing people into my life who accepts and values me as a whole.

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