No Matter What You Look Like, Society Won't Let You Feel Attractive

Listening to Alessia Cara’s song “Scars To Your Beautiful” had me thinking about body shaming and being comfortable in our skin. At times I think about my weight, and if I could physically change my image, would I? Would I be more comfortable and secure with myself, or would it just help me blend in more with society’s beauty standards?

The lyrics that speak to me are:

“You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are/And you don’t have to change a thing/The world could change it’s heart/No scars to your beautiful/We’re stars and we’re beautiful.”

The perfect movie to describe how our body image affects our life is The Nutty Professor. Sherman was fat-shamed for being overweight, making him insecure about his body and doubtful of his intellectual abilities. People around him used his weight for the butt of jokes, and they gained control over him because they knew he didn’t see his own potential and worth.

His family didn’t understand his feelings, and his boss used his insecurities against him. He thought turning into a slimmer and attractive “Buddy Love” would revive his lifestyle, career, and love life because of his lack of self-worth.

Even though he was the same person, his confidence level skyrocketed after the transformation. The sad part is that it did help him receive more love and respect, but his ego got in the way of success. Sherman almost lost his true identity turning into someone he’s not because he received more love from people than he usually did as his authentic self.

The movie runs hand in hand with how judgemental society is today when it comes to beauty standards. It’s a never-ending cycle of hate to love. People are quick to judge someone for their weight without knowing their history, background, or underlying health issues.

My weight has always fluctuated my entire life because of my PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), so I have been plus-size, average, and slender. I was told that I looked “sick” when I was smaller, “unhealthy” when I was plus-size, and suggested I could “tone up my stomach more” when I was average-sized.

Shaming someone for their size isn’t just hurtful, but it’s damaging our overall self-esteem, confidence, and well-being more than people realize.

I find it strange that people feel comfortable discarding, criticizing, harassing, and demeaning someone for their size when a comment isn’t necessary. People bypass the kindest, goofiest, most intelligent, loving people solely based on their outer appearance.

If you’re not getting criticized for your weight, they will find something else unsuitable such as your hair, eyebrows, smile, etc. Picking you apart until they find something about you that they feel is flawed. Literally, any physical attribute can be formed into a flaw, so we are automatically set up for failure.

Why is weight the first thing someone comments on when they see you? They say they want the person to be “healthy,” but again, why would someone be concerned with another person’s health, and most of the time, they don’t even know the individual? It does not affect a person personally, so make it make sense.

Sherman didn’t change into Buddy because it made him lose weight; he did it because he knew he would be appreciated, admired, and valued more. After all, outer beauty earns more respect and approval than inner wisdom and intellect. Yes, health and fitness are essential, but we should be concerned about our own health and body more than someones else’s.

Body shaming is so common now that self-deprecation is standard to make others comfortable, and being confident is considered conceded and cocky. Many people suffer from body dysmorphic disorder, other mental health illnesses, and eating disorders because of the ideal beauty standard.

No matter how much we try to win society’s approval, you can’t, and you won’t. Someone will always have something critical to say.

It breaks my heart to see so many people torn apart because of their physical appearance. I think it’s unnecessary and uncalled for. We should be spending more time getting to know a person for who they genuinely are internally rather than judging them for their physical features and apparel.

At the end of the day, even if I wanted to change my whole image, I would still be judged for what I look like.

Alessia Cara — Scars to your beautiful. Genius. (n.d.). Retrieved December 4, 2021, from https://genius.com/Alessia-cara-scars-to-your-beautiful-lyrics.

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