Learning That Endings Rebirth New Beginnings From A Tarot Card Reading

Me! Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, Colorado

In 2015, I let one of my spiritually awakened co-workers talk me into getting a tarot card reading with her. With my family being Christian, I grew up believing that it was all witchcraft. Going to a Psychic is considered blasphemy, and I would get what my family calls “bad juju.” Despite my religious background, I decided to give it a go, not knowing that this experience would change how I transitioned through life.

We enter a small room that happened to be in the back of a bowling alley (weird, I know!). To my surprise, my co-worker was more terrified than I was and made me go first. I looked into the psychic’s eyes, and I swear I could feel her magnetic energy as I took a deep breath and gave her my hands to examine. As soon as we made physical contact, she had a vision, and her eyes opened so wide they looked like they were bulging out of her eye sockets. I wanted to run out of there so fast, but she calmly told me to sit down and ask my question.

“I would like a general reading about my future,” I asked. I wasn’t sure what else to say, and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to know about my future life. My knowledge of tarot cards was non-existent, and I had no clue what to expect. The image of Miss Cleo from the 90’s T.V. commercials popped into my head. I was looking for a Jamaican woman with a crystal ball, headscarf and I was waiting on her to say, “call me now for your free reading.” I was petrified, but I just prayed under my breath for God’s forgiveness and protection.

She flipped out six cards that happened to be about my career choices, remembering and following my passions and romance that would be coming into my life, but my heart sunk into my chest when the 7th card flew out from the deck. Can you guess what card it was? Yes, it was that creepy, sinister, terrifying, Grim Reaper XIII Death Card. “Oh, Lord! You’ve got me, Jesus. I am about to die.” I didn’t even listen to what she was saying because I just knew my life was over. To this day, I still don’t remember in-depth what she said about the other cards.

The psychic tried to reassure me that The Death Card doesn’t particularly mean there will be a death of you or a loved one. It can mean death and rebirth of life, transformations, transitions, and endings that start up new beginnings. My whole body was trembling at this point. The part that startled me to my core was when she didn’t explain what this card meant for me. She told me she had a vision about it, but her spirit guides told her not to reveal it to me. Instant regret took over my soul. I feared for my family and my life from that moment forward.

I ran and sat outside in my car, bawling my eyes out. I couldn’t stop thinking about who would die and the That’s So Raven vision that she suddenly had. When I got home, I repented and rebuked the devil while reading the Psalms 91 scripture out loud multiple times.

Throughout the years after the reading, I would periodically think about this Death Card. What was going to happen? Who was going to die? How will this affect me? I couldn’t predict my future, so I had no choice but to wait it out to see the outcome. I know one thing; I despised the fact that this Death Card stayed rent-free in my brain’s memory bank. At this point, I regretted ever going to a psychic. I was too afraid of knowing future outcomes to be told something of this magnitude and live with it without knowing the result.

Every time someone in my family, including me, got sick, was in the hospital, or something unfortunate happened, it would instantly make me think this card was coming into play. I hated having this reminder that something is going to happen if I like it or not.

BOOM! The pandemic hit, and so did the transition of my life entering into The Death Card phase. I ended up losing my grandma A.K.A. Granny to Cancer with Covid-19 complications. When I received that dreaded call, I was crushed and cried at my desk at work for the rest of the day.

Luckily, I was able to have my last and most heartbreaking two-hour phone conversation with her a few days before she passed. We talked about special moments we had in life and how she always wanted to travel to Hawaii. The part of the conversation that made a piece of my soul leave my body was when my granny told me that she was tired and she didn’t want to feel pain any longer.

I knew at that moment that I had to be secure enough to say to her, “you are strong! We love you so much, and don’t ever forget that. I know that we can’t come to visit, so please hear the echo of my voice when you’re ready to rest.” I knew she needed to hear that as reassurance to know that she was safe, loved, and we will be alright.

Since there were many Covid-19 restrictions, we couldn’t hold her hand while she passed away alone in the hospital, and we couldn’t even have a proper funeral for her. There were only ten people allowed at the funeral home, including staff. We also only had 20 to 30 minutes for the entire funeral service.

All seven of my tarot cards have come to fruition, and I can now erase this day forever. Well, so I thought. A few days after the funeral, I started to notice that my light in the kitchen would flicker at night (she loved to cook, and she never slept well at night). I also would randomly smell the scent of my granny’s favorite old-school White Diamond perfume. My mom, aunt, and uncles would make and eat dinner with her in their dreams. I knew she would watch over us, but I wasn’t expecting to feel her magnanimous lion Leo energy all the time.

It gets even crazier. I was obsessed with the Disney movie “Moana” after it came out for some reason. Could her mentioning that she wanted to visit Hawaii be a coincidence? I’m not sure, but after watching “Moana” again and paying attention to it, the movie’s plot turned into my actual life, except I am in my 30’s and unfortunately, I don’t have Maui to help me along the way.

You see, she always believed in me and my gypsy spirit. As long as I remembered family and my origins, she enjoyed and appreciated my quirky differences. I had lost my passion for the career I was in and was ready to embark on a new journey. I was too afraid to take on the challenges of making the necessary steps to change my life path, and I didn’t know where to start. It finally became clear that it was time for me to do more things that I enjoyed in life. Now I was being pushed to feel the death/rebirth to new beginnings meaning of the number XIII Tarot Card.

Not only was I grieving, but I also ended up on an entire transformational life journey, just like Moana. I endured many trials and tribulations while sailing across the sea towards my goals and self-discovery. My growth included an ego-death (still working on this one), removing toxic relationships from my life, forgiving myself and others from past hurt, healing inner child wounds, and exploring my professional passions. I honestly believe that my granny is now my ancestor who is guiding me along the way.

Never in a million years would I have imagined this was how the infamous Grim Reaper XIII Death Card would play out in my life. I might have regretted going to a psychic at first, but now I understand that this transition was a necessity in my life. Not explaining her vision was not to scare me but to protect me. The grieving, sorrow, pain, and loneliness brought me a new life perspective: enlightenment, success, creativity, happiness, and growth.

Though my granny is not physically here with me, I believe her spirit is and that she continues to shine her light down on me. I still have many new chapters in my life to create, and I hope she continues to help me follow the synchronicities that help to reassure my path. I might not know much about spirituality, but I respect it because I know my granny is helping guide me towards my higher self.

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