When Life Takes Its Toll (Poetry)

My heart, so miserable and so cold.

Beat up, torn apart, grown so old.

So bitter, thought no one could change me.

Closed my eyes, so the pain I could not see.

Turned my back.

Walked around with my head held down.

No longer feeling worthy so I avoided adjusting my crown.

Yet, jealous of others because they have what I don’t.

Striving to succeed but so weak that I won’t.

Hiding behind the sight of happiness.

When really inside is full of depression and loneliness.

Feel like no one sees my pain.

Feel like that happiness I will never gain.

So hard to live a life that is worthwhile.

So hard to laugh, so hard to smile.

The past never looked better than the present.

Nothing in the world could be heaven-sent.

No self-confidence.

No self-awareness.

All I live is behind a vast cloud that is sizzling in fire.

Point of living, I don’t know, I have no desire.

Others are there for me, and I sit and wonder….why?

I try to push them away, but yet they deny.

Nothing in the world could help me feel better.

Even my weight makes me hide behind a gigantic sweater.

What do I do? Who do I run to?

Someone tell me please so my pain can get out of this blue.

Try to look life in the face, but my head hangs low.

Wishing someone else’s image I can borrow.

Still running through that dark alley with strangers all around.

Stumbling over obstacles, can’t keep up off the ground.

There is no ending and never really was a beginning.

I will just sit here puzzled while my life is spinning.

I will stay on earth but when it ends it will be a brand new me.

Hopefully, then, life I can finally see.

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