Shielding Your Heart Makes It Difficult To Allow Love To Come In

The movie Shrek had me thinking about love and how we all deserve to have it in our lives. The artist Smash Mouth said,

“I thought love was only true in fairy tales/meant for someone else but not for me.”

We are repeatedly judged by other people our whole lives, making it challenging to remain confident in ourselves and our love journey. I thought love was out to get me somehow.

Some of us have strategically moved differently to either fit in or close ourselves out by being defensive and cold to shield our hearts. Past trauma, bullying, and other unhealed wounds can cause a tough exterior but a longing to feel understood and recognized on the inside.

As a kid, I remember having dreams and fantasies about my fairytale life, what my partner would physically look like, and I had a detailed list of character traits that this person would have. Growing into an adult, I relaxed my standards and started settling for what I could get because I lost faith in humanity and relationships.

When you haven’t had the best luck when it comes to love and relationships, you start to give up on it. Closing your heart from receiving more wounds and keeping people at a distance is the easiest thing to do when you keep experiencing heartbreak. Just like Shrek, I began giving up on love as a whole and would subconsciously punish and push away the people who tried to show it to me.

Having someone enter your life that openly accepts the real you while being true to themselves is rare. Sometimes it takes that gem to break through your barriers, causing you to let your guard down finally. Of course, we all should have healthy boundaries but not to the point where no one can get through.

I’ve had difficulty expressing myself to people, and I felt the need to continuously fight for what I believe in and what I stand for. Wanting to break down my walls but feel like I can’t because it’s too emotionally dangerous to do so. Shying away from committed and loving relationships thinking I will be more robust by myself.

The little voice in my head told me to “run away fast before you get hurt again,” and I made up scenarios to fit what the hurt might look like.

When I finally received a “Donkey and Fiona” in my life, I realized that I deserved to be loved, and it was necessary to redefine my personal empowerment. Neglecting my needs to protect myself wasn’t fulfilling; it was more detrimental to my life. It victimized my want for satisfaction and intimacy by failing to see the truth and prioritizing it.

We have to show ourselves the same amount of unconditional love that we show others.

I concluded that you shouldn’t define yourself by your past experiences. Living in the past tends to recreate the same situations or relationships in the future because someone’s intention towards you might come from a fear-based mindset.

Once you let go of and forgive the old, you will be more open to new experiences and opportunities. Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemy, and we can miss out on blessings because of it.

Smash mouth – all star. Genius. (n.d.). Retrieved November 15, 2021, from https://genius.com/Smash-mouth-all-star-lyrics

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