Get To Know Someone First Before You Judge Them

Listening to Michael Jackson’s song Ben had me thinking about yearning to feel accepted and loved. The lyrics

“Ben, you’re always running here, and there/You feel you’re not wanted anywhere,”

and

“They don’t see you as I do/I wish they would try to” pop out the most to me.

Yes, I know the song is about his love for his pet rat, but I’m composing a different perspective.

Now, most of us, when we see a rat, it triggers fear, terror, and pure disgust. Obviously, Michael Jackson saw his pet rat as special, unique and viewed him through the eyes of compassion and love. He showed a rat more respect, sympathy, and kindness than we tend to offer ourselves and other humans. He saw Ben as more than just an ordinary rat.

Just like being triggered when we see a rat, we do the same thing by shading and rejecting people that look like they don’t belong in our circle or aren’t “approved” by societal standards. I’m sure individuals who get outcasted by society feel pretty similar to Ben.

Hear me out.

How many people in the world feel unseen, lonely, misunderstood, and neglected?

A lot!

Sometimes, the people we allow in our lives daily don’t honestly and genuinely see us. No matter what you do or where you go, people tend not to see your value and worth, and you feel the need to have to prove yourself constantly.

Sometimes we have a longing to belong.

Not one person is the same, yet we treat each other like we are or should be. We end up hiding and avoid showing parts of ourselves to blend in with society. Who we are is a gift that should be embraced and expressed. Maybe we aren’t meant to fit in because we were put on this earth to stand out from the crowd.

Often, we feel unseen and unheard because we have surrounded ourselves with the wrong people. The way that Michael valued and understood Ben is the type of people we deserve in our lives. These are the relationships that will be meaningful and uplift, support, and appreciate us.

“I’m sure they’d think again/If they had a friend like Ben.”

When we don’t keep an open mind to see who people authentically are, we can miss out on experiencing the dopest, most fulfilling relationships. Society can be so judgemental and critical towards a person without even knowing their story or personality.

If we saw each individual like he saw Ben, we would be more open to getting to know someone personally before letting bias and hate cloud our judgment. Most of the time, we don’t take the time to get to know someone’s heart; we judge them by their appearance, social status, and lifestyle. Showing more empathy to each person that we come across can go a long way.

Michael Jackson — Ben (single) lyrics. musiXmatch. (n.d.). Retrieved November 9, 2021, from https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Michael-Jackson/Ben-Single.

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